The Couple Confrontation
by chasingballoons
Summary: Prompt: Could you write Beverley's interview on high achieving couples please? I wrote this in a report-style format to reflect Beverley's interview but hopefully It's still easy to read
1. Howard and Bernadette

**Beverley** : Bernadette. How are you coping with Howard's latent homosexual feelings?

 **Howard** : What? I don't – there aren't any – I'm not –

 **Bernadette** : Oh it's not like that. Howie's-

 **Beverley** : Are you sure? His relationship with, 'Raj' is it? Is somewhat questionable.

 **Bernadette** : I can assure you, Howard and Raj are just friends.

 **Howard** : Yeah, I thought this was supposed to be about _how I'm an astronaut_?

 **Beverley** : You seem to be very uncomfortable with this topic. Is it perhaps that you are insecure about your homosexual feelings?

 **Howard** : I told you I'm straight!

 **Beverley** : Your anger suggests otherwise.

 **Bernadette** : How about we change the subject?

 **Beverley** : Fine. How long have you been married?

 **Bernadette:** Um 4 years.

 **Beverley:** Okay, and what are your full names?

 **Bernadette:** Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.

 **Howard:** Bernie, you told me I'd get to talk about space.

 **Bernadette:** She'll get to it Howie. Be patient.

 **Howard:** Fine.

 **Beverley:** Interesting. From observation you have an almost paternal relationship. Not uncommon in couples. Spouses will often pick partners that have familiar characteristics to their own parents.

 **Bernadette:** That's not true for us. I mean, Howard isn't anything like my father. My dad is an ex-cop who drinks scotch and goes hunting. Howard is a marshmallow.

 **Howard:** Hey!

 **Beverley:** It wasn't your parents I was talking about. I meant Howard's mother.

 **Howard:** You've never met my mother…

 **Beverley:** No, but I have enough evidence from photographs and your relationship with her. I see similarities in your relationship with Bernadette.

 **Howard:** That's not true.

 **Bernadette:** Yeah, I'm nothing like his mother!

 **Beverley:** I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. Shall we move on?

 **Howard:** I think that would be best.

 **Beverley:** Fine. Do you think your stunted growth influenced your decision to marry Bernadette?

 **Howard:** What?

 **Beverley:** Studies have shown that height in men is comparable to advanced stature in other parts of the male body. By that theory, your-

 **Howard:** Hold on. I thought this was a study of high achieving couples so why can't we talk about Bernie's successful career, or when I was an astronaut, or, or the fact that we're having a baby?

 **Beverley:** You say you're having a baby?

 **Bernadette:** Yes, I'm just about three months pregnant

 **Beverley:** Congratulations.

 **Bernadette:** Thanks, we're really excited.

 **Howard:** She's going to be a great mom.

 **Beverley:** I assume my advice would be pointless now.

 **Bernadette:** What advice?

 **Beverley:** Don't have kids.


	2. Sheldon and Amy

**Beverley:** I'll start with your names please

 **Sheldon:** Sheldon Lee Cooper

 **Amy** : Amy Farrah Fowler

 **Beverley** : Relationship status?

 **Amy** : Boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating for six years

 **Beverley** : Seeing as this is a study of high achieving couples, I'm going to need your IQs

 **Sheldon:** 187

 **Amy** : 184

 **Beverley** : Yes, okay. And occupations?

 **Sheldon** : Theoretical Physicist specialising in Dark Matter at Caltech University

 **Beverley** : And Amy?

 **Amy** : I'm a neurobiologist at Caltech University

 **Beverley** : Interesting… you work together

 **Amy** : Well, not together, but at the same university. We're in separate departments

 **Beverley** : Do you feel this ever puts a strain on your relationship?

 **Sheldon** : Oh of course not. If anything it strengthens it

 **Amy** : It does?

 **Beverley** : It does?

 **Sheldon** : Yes. Having Amy close means that she's there whenever I need her

 **Amy** : Oh Sheldon

 **Beverley** : Interesting. Do you find yourself needing her a lot? Are you reliant on her?

 **Sheldon** : Only in medical emergencies

 **Beverley** : What counts as a medical emergency? Do you have these often?

 **Amy** : More often than you'd hope for

 **Sheldon** : I only require my emergency contact between three and five times a week

 **Beverley** : Three to five?

 **Amy** : Yes, three to five. _A week_

 **Sheldon** : But other than that, we meet for lunch every day

 **Beverley** : So do you enjoy spending time together?

 **Amy** : Oh very much so.

 **Sheldon** : Sometimes we're not even doing the same activities but it's just nice to be together.

 **Beverley** : Good. Good. Do you see your relationship progressing into the future?

 **Amy** : Yes, I think so.

 **Sheldon** : Oh definitely.

 **Beverley** : Do you have any plans for the future?

 **Sheldon** : Well, speaking for myself, I would like to get married. I have a ring already which Amy knows about. I've just been waiting for the right time to give it to her. I want to make it special. When we get married, Amy will move in with me. I would like to wait a year or two before having children. Only two or three so that we can support their education financially.

 **Amy** : Sheldon…

 **Beverley** : Amy, what about you?

 **Amy** : That sounds perfect…

 **Beverley** : Have you not discussed your plans?

 **Sheldon** : We have a little. We both want to get married and have children.

 **Amy** : We're moving comfortably and don't want to rush anything.

 **Beverley** : Hmm. Okay. Moving on, I see you've been dating for six years

 **Sheldon** : Well we separated for a while in between

 **Beverley** : Really? And how did that affect your relationship?

 **Sheldon** : Well… I did not handle it all that well. But now that we've been through it, I believe our relationship is much stronger

 **Amy** : I agree. Although our break almost killed me, I glad it happened. I feel we're closer now

 **Sheldon** : You mean it figuratively killed you… but I agree to the concept

 **Beverley** : You say it strengthened you? How exactly?

 **Amy** : Oh I don't know. I just feel that I learnt what life without Sheldon was like and I learnt that I didn't like it at all.

 **Beverley** : Sheldon, how did the break effect you?

 **Sheldon** : Well, I also learnt what life without Amy was like. I learnt to appreciate her more. I also learnt that our break wasn't about what I thought it was about

 **Beverley** : What did you think it was about?

 **Sheldon** : … I thought I wasn't giving Amy what she wanted… physically

 **Amy** : That was definitely not what it was about. I went on dates with three different men whilst we were apart and the relationship did not get physical. I just didn't feel like Sheldon and I were in an equal relationship. Of course, it's different now

 **Beverley** : And has your relationship reached the physical stage now?

 **Amy** : …

 **Sheldon** : Yes. It exceeds the phenomenal

 **Amy** : Okay, I think that's enough for now!


	3. Leonard and Penny

**Beverley:** Well I suppose we should get this over with.

 **Leonard:** Mom.

 **Beverley:** I'm sorry, what I meant to say was, 'I look forward to interviewing the both of you'

 **Penny:** Beverley, you don't have to do this. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.

 **Beverley:** You were kind enough to redo your wedding while I was in town. I think it's only fair that I interview you.

 **Penny:** Oh Beverley, thank you!

 **Beverley:** Although I cannot guarantee that my final report will include any of this discussion.

 **Leonard:** Mom.

 **Beverley:** Let's get started shall we? Now, how do you think your marriage is going so far?

 **Penny:** Oh it's wonderful. I love being married to Leonard.

 **Beverley:** Are you sure?

 **Leonard:** Mom!

 **Penny:** Yes, Yes! I love Leonard.

 **Beverley:** Interesting. But am I correct in thinking that you live separately?

 **Leonard:** No! No! We live together but in two apartments.

 **Beverley:** And why is that?

 **Penny:** Well Sheldon doesn't like to be alone so Leonard has kindly agreed to continue living with him as his roommate.

 **Beverley:** Then why not permanently live with Sheldon? Why the second apartment?

 **Leonard:** I guess it would be a lot of bother moving Penny's stuff. And it's nice to have our own place.

 **Beverley:** But you're still tied to Sheldon? I can't blame you, he's a brilliant man.

 **Leonard:** Yes he's great but we're only living with him temporarily, not permanently. Plus he has Amy now.

 **Penny:** Yeah and we're not really tied to him. It was a choice. We know Sheldon needs us. I like to just think of him as a pet.

 **Beverley:** A pet?

 **Penny:** Sorry, not a pet. It was a joke... I -

 **Beverley:** That's nice dear. Anyway, do you see yourselves living together in the future? Are you planning on having a family?

 **Leonard:** Oh yes, in the future.

 **Penny:** Way, way in the future.

 **Beverley:** Interesting. Can you afford to keep two apartments in the mean time?

 **Leonard:** Well we've managed up until now. I don't see it as a problem. Penny's earning more now so-

 **Beverley:** Penny, how much more money do you earn than Leonard?

 **Leonard:** Mom.

 **Penny:** Oh money isn't really an issue in our marriage.

 **Beverley:** Is that so? But am I right in assuming that you have multiple debts leading Leonard to have his own bank account?

 **Penny:** How did you...? Okay yes I'm in a bit of debt my I'm working hard to pay them off.

 **Beverley:** By what means?

 **Penny:** I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.

 **Beverley:** Interesting. Leonard, does your wife's job make you feel emasculated and insecure?

 **Leonard:** Why would it make me feel emasculated and insecure?

 **Beverley:** Well by average standards it is likely that Penny is earning a lot more than you-

 **Leonard:** Well yes but-

 **Beverley:** And traditionally her job description would entail flirting and flattery to gain clients, yes?

 **Leonard:** Sometimes yes but-

 **Beverley:** Penny's previous career as a waitress is nothing compared to the success she has today.

 **Leonard:** Mom I don't think-

 **Penny:** Oh Beverley. Thank you.

 **Beverley:** You're welcome dear. I must say, while I was unsure about your decision to marry, I can see that it has been quite successful. I've never seen you both so happy.

 **Leonard:** Mom...

 **Penny:** Beverley...

 **Beverley:** Now, moving on. How would you describe your sex life?


End file.
